For the past five years I've had the desire to renounce worldly experience. To take off into India like the other Sadhus, holy men, with no attachment. Having no possessions and nothing but free time to do sadhana, I believe I would be quite happy. I even had the offer last time I was in India. An old Sadhu wanted to make me his disciple; wanted me to stay to live and practice with him. I was quite clouded at the time and choose to leave instead, ahhhhh- back off into worldly life, but all things for a reason right???
When I have a tough day, or my emotions are fried, I long even more to renounce....
I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm looking for the easy way out. To remind myself to take proper course of action I put up a few lines from the Adhyatma Ramayana on the back of my door, right next to other prayer I mentioned a few weeks ago.
The great Rishi Agastya describes what a Sadhu really is in Chapter 3 v.38-46
"A Sadhu (true holy man) is one in whom the following excellence are found: even mindedness towards all including friend, enemy, and neutral; desirelessness; control of the senses in respect of external objects, abandonment of the three eshanas (desire for children, for wealth, for heavenly enjoyment), placidity of mind arising from complete self mastery; supreme devotion to Thee (God); equanimity of mind in success or failure; absence of all attachment; abandonment of all evil and selfish actions; abiding interest in contemplating BrahmaN; the practice of Yama and Niyama and other disciplines of Yoga; and satisfaction with whatever means of livelihood comes spontaneously without seeking. Such are the characteristics of Holy Men. Intimate contact with them gives rise to delight in matters dealing with the Divine excellences and accounts."
Dang! No mention of orange robes and abandoning everything. I guess I will stay and work it here.
One day I talked to my Guruji of my constant desire to renounce, and in his infinite wisdom he said,
"Nothing is clinging up on you, you can live life like a Sadhu. All you have to leave is desire and attachment, see your duties from right perspective, and you will realize what is the life of a real Sadhu."
My duties of being a student and teacher call as I'm typing. It's time to tackle Physics and then teach a class at the farmhouse tonight.
Jay Shiv Shakti